I really enjoyed reading the two essays today by Stephanie and Holly. Both were about people who had great personalities and who had a real love for life. After reading their essays, I noticed that in my paper I could describe Mayor Landry a bit more. I tried to stay away from making the essay to personal, and concentrated on making more critical analysis. However, I realized that adding a few more details would make the paper that much better. It would allow the reader to have a better picture and understanding of Mayor Landry, which is vital.
In response to the comments I received, I really appreciate them. Both of the readers said that my paper was very good and that I stuck to my thesis throughout. Two things that I want to work on are: having more action verbs and making a few more original claims. I tried to make sure that I addressed these two areas in the rough draft, but I need to do more. I was very pleased at how the rough draft turned out, and hopefully the final draft will be that much better.
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